Explanations...

I was asked by multiple people yesterday what it meant to "Bronson" a cup of coffee. As with most things Shawn-ified, the explanation requires explanation...

When you decided to read this blog, you entered a strange world. (Sorry, Twilight Zone. I kinda ripped this off.) You have entered a world where things often do not mean what you think they mean.

Bronson (n.)
1. A bad dude, 70's movie star who killed everyone for looking at him the wrong way.
2. The facial expression of the aforementioned 70's movie star.

When I was a kid, my dad loved all things Bronson-Eastwood-Wayne. If the movie hero's family was harmed/killed at the beginning of the movie by thugs/indians forcing a simple farmer/police office to become a ruthless vigilante, we would watch that movie. Charles Bronson was the quintessential vigilante hero. He would ALWAYS be forced to revenge someone's death (resulting movie titles: Death Wish 1, Death Wish 2, Death Wish 3, etc) and was ALWAYS forced to become a bad A. (Yes, Mom, that A means what you think is means.)

For some reason, Charles Bronson, epic film star, was always squinting. Always! Seriously, I am not making this up. Oscar-nominee Bronson was born squinting. Due to my many hours of watching vigilante murder with my brother and dad, I realized one day that the face I make when I drink hot coffee is the same squint as Bronson. Enter, The Bronson. When I drink hot coffee, I pay homage to the Charles Bronson by performing "The Bronson." (squint until eyes are almost closed. Mimic pain with face.) If you look around right now, those drinking hot coffee are doing the same thing!

So, that is the simple, yet complicated, answer of "what is The Bronson?" By the way, I have so far spread the term to most people in our office, and I am offering it to the world.