Explanations...

I was asked by multiple people yesterday what it meant to "Bronson" a cup of coffee. As with most things Shawn-ified, the explanation requires explanation...

When you decided to read this blog, you entered a strange world. (Sorry, Twilight Zone. I kinda ripped this off.) You have entered a world where things often do not mean what you think they mean.

Bronson (n.)
1. A bad dude, 70's movie star who killed everyone for looking at him the wrong way.
2. The facial expression of the aforementioned 70's movie star.

When I was a kid, my dad loved all things Bronson-Eastwood-Wayne. If the movie hero's family was harmed/killed at the beginning of the movie by thugs/indians forcing a simple farmer/police office to become a ruthless vigilante, we would watch that movie. Charles Bronson was the quintessential vigilante hero. He would ALWAYS be forced to revenge someone's death (resulting movie titles: Death Wish 1, Death Wish 2, Death Wish 3, etc) and was ALWAYS forced to become a bad A. (Yes, Mom, that A means what you think is means.)

For some reason, Charles Bronson, epic film star, was always squinting. Always! Seriously, I am not making this up. Oscar-nominee Bronson was born squinting. Due to my many hours of watching vigilante murder with my brother and dad, I realized one day that the face I make when I drink hot coffee is the same squint as Bronson. Enter, The Bronson. When I drink hot coffee, I pay homage to the Charles Bronson by performing "The Bronson." (squint until eyes are almost closed. Mimic pain with face.) If you look around right now, those drinking hot coffee are doing the same thing!

So, that is the simple, yet complicated, answer of "what is The Bronson?" By the way, I have so far spread the term to most people in our office, and I am offering it to the world.

I'm back

(Image shown is actual cup of coffee that I am currently Bronson'ing.)

I know...I am way overdue for a post. I do have my requisite cup of coffee in-hand and am ready to take over the (my small) world.

Tuesday morning through Thursday morning is usually a blur for me. With back-to-back nights of class, it is work a full day, go to class, go to sleep, work, class, sleep. Thursday mornings feel so good! (Wed nights are great as well. The few hours after class are the best, guilt-free time of the week.)

Anyway, here are the quick updates:
1) I have agreed to coach Ethan's 3 year old soccer team despite having never, I repeat, never played one moment of soccer. I do not know the rules, positions or terminology. The YMCA lady emailed me that no one would volunteer, and, in a moment of weakness, I did. Let the comedy ensue....
2) Due to one of my prof's schedule for yesterday, we had 3.5 hours of the same class. (We will make it up by doing the opposite for his class next week.) Judge Dozier, my prof, is very knowledgeable in the world of Evidence, but 3.5 hours of ANYTHING is too much.
3) I realized driving in this morning that I am going to Nica-freaking-ragua in May. I know the trip will be amazing, but that realization just landed on me.
4) TB and I have agreed to begin running on Mon/Thurs at lunchtime. It is likely that our commitment will never materialize, but, if it does, it would be nice to actually get back into shape. I asked, and my heart and diet agree.

Heather chatted me as I sat in class last night that Ethan puked all over his classroom at church. Apparently, he has some stomach bug. Hopefully, it will go as quickly as it came because we are ALL DONE with sickness. This is going into week three for the Hanks family, and we are tired. Poor Heather....

Ok, back to making it rain....

For Texans only....

Thank you for participating, your score is 50%!

Congratulations, you nudged above 33%. This shows you have interest in those thing immediately important to you, but are a little indifferent about periphery issues.

The new & improved Texas Trivia
Take More Quizzes

DLoy sent me a TX trivia test with the instructions that I "do it when you have five minutes." Understanding this to mean,"do it now!", I promptly took the test. Yep, you guessed it....I suck!

There are some tough questions on here. I guessed at two that I actually knew the right answer but thought I was being tricked. I was wrong and was also wrong.

You can take the test here. Let me know how you do.

Texas Trivia

The Drag

I heard it said today that law school is like "having your dental work done with a dull drill." Well, while that is not a pleasant thought, it does capture the feeling....

I had a study group meeting tonight that popped up last minute. I have been blessed to have a good group of several students that met fairly regularly last year. I was NOT a study group guy in college (of course, that was in 1952.) But, I have grown to appreciate the input of others since starting law school. Overall, it has been quite helpful. As we enter week three of such exciting topics as (drumroll....) Restitution and Remedies, Property, Civil Procedure and Evidence, it is good to have the other guys' thoughts.

With that said, my glorious three month break caused me to forget the never-ending marathon that is law school. Nightly reading sessions, two nights of four hour classes, study groups, case briefs, pop quizes and so on....

I know that it WILL end someday, but it can sometimes be a long, lonely road. I can just imagine how H feels on those nights that I am away. Oh well, back to the books. The law is unforgiving....

PS - Again, I do plan to sue everyone someday. Please know it is not personal. :)

EK's birthday

We had EK's birthday party today. My wife knows how to throw a party for a one year old. She wisely decided (and I nodded along in agreement while we discussed) that it would be more fun for EK and her "friends" if no older brothers/sisters were involved. Of course, Ethan and Mia were here because this is home, but EK's other friends were able to come without siblings. It seemed like the mommy's (and Jonathan!) enjoyed the reprise from the craziness of many kiddos, but I am sure there are a few dads south of Nashville that were not Hanks fans this morning.

EK was beautiful, as always, and now seems like she is one. Everyone probably knows my thoughts on this at this point, but I have a firm rule in our home that kids are NOT allowed to grow up. It is only re-enforced each night around 12:30 or 1 AM as I make my rounds to give one last good-night kiss. Each night, I am amazed at how much bigger they seem than the day before....

Laugh all you want, but I will frequently go to bed with a tear in my eye. (Yes, Heather does make fun of me....she is a meanie.) I know that between law school, work, ballet, church, dr's appointments, study groups and soccer games they are not going to stop growing. I keep pushing the pause button, but it seems to be fast forward.

But I digress....EK turned one this week, and, thanks to H, we had a fun time with some good friends to celebrate. Ella Kate ate two pieces of cake (uhm, yes Jonathan...she is husky) and had fun time. Life is good!

The TV Basement

This will be tough for some of you to hear....

Most people do not like American Idol. Seriously, MOST people do not like American Idol. According to their ratings, at least 93% of Americans choose each week to do something else with their time. (Watching paint dry, de-hairing their arms with tweezers, using their mind to melt ice, etc.) By the way, I am in that 93%.

I have endured approximately 60-90 total minutes of Youth Camp to the Future Possible Stars over its past few years of TV existence (yes, I am out-numbered 3-2 in the male to female ratio.) The fake tears and cheesy showtunes alone are enough to make a Super Bowl's worth of cheese dip. And, if I wanted to learn to dress like a ho, I would buy one of those magazines on the rack at Publix.

Adults....this show is created, designed, marketed and produced to perfection to sell Coke, make-up and Mabelline to 14 year old girls. How does Barry Manilow fit in, you ask? Try and pick him out of a crowd of 14 year old girls...point made. Anyway, the script is a slam dunk. It reads as follows:

1) The star of Smalltown High School show choir who was "almost" about to move to NYC to make it on Broadway belts out another copycat of Mariah Carey.

2) Randy Jackson, who actually does have musical abilities, quips about "realness" and "dawgness". He makes a socially hip and possibly racially relevant comment and ends with another dose of "realness." (Please substitute "freshness" if "realness" is overexposed this episode.)

3) A plastic re-creation of the girl that was hot when I was in middle school, Paula Abdul, awakes from her teary-eyed, drug-induced coma to let Future Mariah Carey know that she "made it her own."

4) Wait for crowd to moan as villain enters frame....

5) Middle-aged brit in uncomfortable (for everyone) black t-shirt makes sly remark in overly British accent.

6) Everyone agree with him but boo until Applaud Now sign is lit.

7) Former Future Mariah Carey returns to work at Applebee's.

Even with a writers' strike, this has gone on too long. Can no one create a more compelling drama that what is presented on 8 nights of the week? Did the networks lose the 80's archives of such masterpieces as Airwolf, The A-Team, Remington Steele, Knight Rider or the present day Hero's, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, CSI: Miami (waaa-aaaahhh), etc?

If you wear lip gloss, currently use ProActive, have lime/pink bands in your braces, have a name ending with an "i" and think that 1992 was the year Sputnik was launched, you are welcome to great me with "oh my gosh, did you see Idol last night?". Otherwise, with respect for the VAST majority of America, we would prefer a hello.

I Got Schick

After my crash course in Spanish on Sunday afternoon (more later,) I started to get the feeling that I had finally been caught by "the bug." H had the flu two weeks ago, Mia had it next, then EK and, finally, Ethan. My luck ran out...

By Monday morning, I knew we had problems. Luckily, H had antiobiotics and meds from a past illness, but, of course, I did NOT take that medication. All the labels gave me that instruction. (Ok, I did...) The med's definitely helped, but since missing work/class was not an option, I took a full dose of denial.

In my last few days of fever induced, I-Am- Not-Sick haze, I have determined a few of life's secrets:

1) Sickness sucks (that was an easy one)
2) The devil is a chemist by trade, and he invented Afrin. Afrin is gasoline for the nose. Yes, it does work, but only in the sense that you are no longer concerned about congestion. The internal sinus flames are of primary importance.
3) Yes, I can sweat enough during the night to actually make my shirt wet. Sorry for that mental picture.
4) Finally, I thank God for good health. Like everything in life, you get accustomed to whatever you have at the time. When feel good, you don't know that you feel good.

I am going on record with this...

"God, thank You for keeping our family safe and healthy!" :)

PS - Enjoy the pic of Dis-Interested Shawn in Class.

Ella Kate is one!

I am consistently amazed at how quickly our kiddos grow. Everyone tells you that it goes quickly, but, guess what, it goes quickly. At this time last year, I was getting ready to start law school, Heather was very - very - pregnant and Mia/Ethan had no clue what was coming. Now, Ella Kate is walking all over the house like a bow-legged cowboy opening every drawer and cabinet in the house. (We suspect her of a recent car keys theft but, with no proof and no witnesses, we cannot prosecute.)

H and I are very blessed to have three great kiddos. Mia is the most artistic, clever, intelligent 4 year old girl on the planet. Ethan's boldness and confidence make me jealous. But, today is EK's date. She is one today. Break out the soy milk!

For the basketbal fans....

I was bored this weekend. With little to do, I decided to go to the local, nondescript recreational park equipped with an outdoor basketball facility. I tied on a previously acquired Superman cape, ran approximately 30-35 feet and jumped 13 feet in the air. While in the air, I decided not to "dunk" the ball as my internal instruments determined that I was several feet above the rim. To make it more fun, I decided to throw the ball DOWN into the goal rather than dunking the ball. I was right, it was more fun.

Also, Dwight Howard did the same thing at the NBA Dunk Contest. You can not believe your eyes here....

A great date...

Heather and I went on a fantastic date tonight. We had 8 PM reservations at The Acorn, and it was great. The picture is not the best, but it caught the moment.

This was our delayed valentine's day event and was well worth the wait. We were way overdue for a meal without "four and a high chair, please." At no point did we cut food into small pieces, ask for another spoon after a 4th one was dropped under the table or break up an argument over who needs the ketchup.

I love my wife and this was a fabulous night. Sleepy time now....

Maroon 5

The first thing I like to do in the morning is open up iTunes and start playing some tunes in the kitchen. It is a great way to get the morning started.

Over the past few days, I have found my new favorite CD....Maroon 5's "It Won't Be Soon Before Long". It replaced Relient K's latest as my most listened. I don't even want to look at the number of "plays" in the iTunes counter for Relient K. It would be sad....

Speaking of the number of "plays" for each song, here is something odd. I have a ton of music (including Stryper!), but I seem to listen to the same things over and over again. Between Coldplay, The Fray, Relient K, Maroon 5, Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman and a few others, I spend my music time on the same stuff. (Heather is not surprised to read that statement.)

How about you? Are you a one-trick pony like me or different tunes all the time? Just curious..

Seriously, we call this work....

We have a unique office environment because we have a number of people who love to laugh. For our last catalog, we created a phony speaker with a ridiculous bio for our clients to locate. If they located the bogus speaker, they could log-in and give their guess. We drew 10 names for gift cards and 1 name for a flat screen TV.

So, our drawing was this morning. We, of course, had to write a bogus speech from the fake speaker, Charles Thomas. Because I have the gift of BS, I wrote the bio, script, etc. (Sadly, I am actually very good at writing things of 0% importance but with great entertainment value. (Simpsons, are you listening?) Here is the link to the video:

www.premierespeakers.com/phonyspeaker

Second, we were bored with a camera and that means "make a dumb video." This is TB searching for his Valentine with my support.

TB's search for true love

PS - I just finished reading for Evidence. If you don't know Rule 106 and its Completeness Doctrine, you are really missing out!

Yodle, Yodle, Yodlee

I have used several different brands of financial software over the years. I started using Microsoft Money in the late 90's after H and I were married. It was decent for the time in tracking expenses, accounts, etc. I also used Quicken for a while but did not like it as much as Money.

When we bought the first Mac, I knew I would have to abandon Money. It was a sad day because, thanks to my high level of neurosis, I had almost all transactions for all of those years in one single file. Although I NEVER used or referred to them, I did like to fulfill my pack-rat roots in keeping them on file. Enter Yodlee...

My friend, TB, turned me on to Yodlee last year. It is a web-based, free financial site that allows you to track every imaginable account. It also allows you to create reports and systems.

Anyway, if you need something like it, you should check it out...

Valentine Wrap-up

I am a lucky man....

I am blessed with the world's greatest wife and the world's three greatest kiddos (what a coincidence!) Mia made Heather and I "special gifts" that have been in a red gift bag on display on our kitchen island for several days. Today was the big day....

With Mia, you really never have a clue what she has made for you. She really does make almost everyone she knows at least one present a day. I know, you think I am exaggerating. You are wrong....I am not. She is the queen, or princess, of artsy kiddos. She loves art projects and art projects love her.

So, what did the red bag have in store for me and H? Well, I received a fairly close replica of a JoJo's Circus CD. Yes, quite random but, no doubt, with some significance to Mia. It was obviously traced and painstakingly recreated detail-for-detail by ten genius fingers. Heather received a hat complete with colored lacy heart and handcrafted triangle affixed to the top. It really is a beauty....

Anyway, I am realizing that these masterpieces do not last long and one day she may not be as eager to make me a JoJo's Circus CD. I hope that day never comes, but, if it does, I KNOW it will be because the Frist Center has commissioned a showing of her world-renowned work. She just simply does not have the time.

Either way, what she has made so far is already worth a million bucks....

Who shut down the interstate?

I left school at my usual 10 PM ready to rocket home. At 6:30 PM, David texted me that it took him over an hour to get home to The Station. I made a "that's not good" mental note....

Apparently, the entire interstate (I-65) is closed. They have officers at every exit redirecting poor souls like me BACK to where we came. As I cruise through the backroads of TN, I am using the time as an opportunity to put the final touches on Heather's Valentines Day gifts. I hope she still likes New Kids on the Block!

Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh....the right stuff.

You are welcome, Mr. President

Heather and I both grew up in Southeast TX. It goes without saying that we did NOT have many snow days in school. I vaguely remember (vaguely because I have very few childhood memories much to H's chagrin) a few ice storms that caused NISD to release school for the day. Luckily, from a kids perspective at least, we typically had some hurricane or tornado days to make up for the lack of several winter weather. Back to my point....

I have a sure fire way to get the next POTUS elected. Three words...GROWN-UP SNOW DAYS. Why do the kids reap the benefits of the freshly fallen snow while the adults, the schmucks who pay for the kids in the first place, schlep into work? Moments ago, I spoke with my lovely wife by phone. I heard two things: 1) my God-given offspring beseeching their mother to allow them time outdoors in the heavenly bliss that is snow, and 2) Heather quietly encouraging them to notice that Mommy is on the phone. (They required a great deal of encouraging which nearly resulted in a "I brought you into this world" moment.)

Again, digressing....Mr. Future President, you will earn my vote with mandatory adult grown-up snow days for those corresponding to student days. (Doesn't "adult snow days" sound like something created at Deja Vu'?) I agree that other issues such as immigration, taxes and the economy are important. But, snow days are THE most important. Get on board, Huckabee....

It has begun!

Tonight is my first night of second year (2L's for you law school vet's.) I cannot believe it is already time to be back in class. I did not take a winter interim class which gave me three glorious months of NSL - free living. Unfortunately, that has come to an end.

My schedule will be the same as last year - Tues and Wed nights, 6:30 - 10:00 PM. The actual school nights are usually not the issue (unless I have to brief.) The toughest part of the schedule is the mountain of weekly reading that is required. I typically help Heather get the kiddos in bed (8 PM), try to hang with her for a few minutes (probably seems like hours to her) and then the reading begins. If I make my goal of reading from 9-12 PM, I am able to get all the necessary reading done. If not, it is a mad dash to read what I hope is the most important stuff.

The catch in the whole process are the prof's that will randomly select students to brief before the class. (A brief is a summary of a case explaining each sides' arguments, the decisions and why the decisions were made.) I had two of those prof's last year, and it created some serious anxiety during class. I was almost always prepared for class, but it was still nerve-racking as I waited to learn my fate.

Well, Property is over for the night, and Remedies will soon begin. The one thing that helps me through the long nights is the knowledge that one day, one distant day, I will sue EVERYONE! Mwahahahahahaha.....

Traffic sucks....

I am suppose to be home right now, but traffic is backed up for miles.
All I see is red lights. Doh....

The joys of education....

What is this, you ask? Half, yes half, of my required books for this year of school. After spending an embarrassingly large amount of money on this stack, I still have to buy two more. Luckily, a friend who has already completed the madness was able to hook me up with two books for the year. Or, I would be on the hook for another few hundred bucks.

It makes me sad to spend this much money on items that will bring me such pain. Enjoy your cash, Mr. Law Book Company Guy....you are the devil.

I'm fast...

I can type 69 words per minute.....you know you are impressed.

Alert the Press, I am blogging again....

My past two blogs were not very exciting. I blogged for our PSB website for one year, and it had some nice feedback. But, it was mainly about work related stuff. My MySpace blog was a snoozer because I rarely kept it up to date.

I have been following Heather's blog along with the TSC circle of peep's that also blog. Do you have to blog to be a member now? Just a question....

If you want to read the writings of a mad man, bookmark me. As Heather will tell you (and then sadly look away with a blank stare,) I am fairly neurotic and prone to sarcasm. I am also a strong believer that there is no such thing as wind chill factor but that is another post. Anyway, you may get a few chuckles....

Unfortunately, tonight was my return to reading for law school after an almost three month hiatus. I start second year on Tuesday night, and, because law school is real unlike my under-graduate pursuits of a music degree, they actually expect you to read massive amounts of information before you even show up for day one. What happened to the intro lesson? Can a brother get an intro lesson?

peace....shawn

PS - Also, hit me up on facebook for pics of the family and kiddos.