Tough Decisions

It is tough to make big choices because you never have all the info. I guess that is where faith comes into play. You know what I mean: What should I have for dinner? Should I take 840 or Peytonsville? Should I continue in law school?

Those are the type of decisions that I struggle with each day. Over the past few weeks, I have really begun to question why I am going to school and if the time spent away from the family is worth the price. I have not come to a final decision, but it is a tough one. I am trying to pray through the decision and then let God have the deal, but that is easier said than done....especially for control freaks.

Unfortunately for my barber (Heather,) I debate the decision to shave my head much less than I debate school. I went VERY short tonight. Somewhat scary but a whole lot of convenient.

Unrelated topic: If you want a cheap lunch, get the half nacho grande order at Mexicali in Cool Springs. With water, it is about $6 and worth every penny. Yes, I AM cheap frugal.

When did my baby get big enough to wear Mia's jammers?

Much fun....

We had two couple-friends over tonight for dinner. One thing is for certain...my wife can cook. She promised TX style fajitas and did not disappoint. I cannot explain in words the spread that she had prepared and will not try. But, every person left almost ready to fall over from food consumption. That is a good thing.... (Ryan, your guac and, Stephanie, your desserts were awesome too!)

It is not often that we have a few couples over for a fun night. We forget to slow down and just plan the night. It is such a blast. :)

I am skipping the studies tonight. I will regret it tomorrow and pay for it tomorrow night, but, for right now, it just feels right....

(BTW, after a huge dinner and the place has cleared out, you MUST bite the bullet and clean the whole place immediately. We did and feel so much better now.)

FUEL

I am getting more and more excited about the launch of our new class at church....FUEL. Keith and Tracey Jones approached us earlier this year regarding starting a new class on Sunday evenings. It is outside the box but definitely needed for those people at TSC who serve on Sunday mornings. They typically are not able to get truly plugged into an adult class because they are never actually with the group.

The class will meet on Sunday nights and be a great discussion/learning time. Until this year, I had forgotten how much I enjoy the teaching aspect. We did an abilities test at church recently, and I was reminded about my strengths and weaknesses. The enormous deficiencies that I had in compassion and relationships were somewhat made better by the re-affirmation that I am wired to teach "stuff". (Seriously, I sucked at the compassion/care-about-people part of the test. I think the church staff probably had a special meeting to discuss what must have been an error in the testing. "How did this unknown person do so poorly?")

Completely unrelated: If you saw me at church on Sunday, I may have been drooling. I saw The Dark Knight at 10:10 PM on Sat night. In my life right now, there is little time for movies...so you MAKE time. Anyway, it is a good movie. I am not on the bandwagon to give it all the Oscars but did like the flick.

It is raining outside....

BEEP!

It has been brought to my attention that the hilarious, fall-down-funny video link below contains a swear word. If you are an adult, you should have heard that one by now. But, if not, now you have...

Also, if you never have heard that one, please see me immediately. There are a few others floating around out there that you need to be aware of...

(If you are a child and can read, you should probably stop reading this blog. Go to www.noggin.com. If you have difficulty locating the links, please call Ethan, Mia or Ella Kate. If you are a child that cannot read, why are you staring blankly at this screen?)

Farmer "Ethan" Brown

Hilarious clip...

This is a hilarious video clip from the upcoming Will Ferrell movie Step Brothers. So funny....so, so funny...

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/dfe11d872f

Dada, bow.....ok, but I'm not good like Mommy.

Shawn "John McEnroe" Hanks

+

=

I recently had a surprising win over JB in Wii tennis. The creators of the English language failed to create a better word than "surprising" to adequately describe how astonished we were after I won. Jeremy took it pretty hard and was on suicide watch for two days. I have avoided playing him again as I have rubbed it in pretty good ( pretty good = I have been an enormous jerk.)

Below is the email I sent out to the office announcing my win and my simultaneous, yet coincidental, retirement from Wii tennis. (I have been accused of exaggerating for effect.)

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It is with equal parts sadness and joy that I pen this correspondence to you this morning. While I do continue to bask in the glory of my epic, record setting defeat of Jeremy Breland, former tennis player, I am forced to deal with an unfortunate side-effect of my surprising rise into tennis stardom: injury. It was during the awe-inspiring, sensational victory recorded yesterday for all of history to behold that I first realized my injury. However, with fortitude that can only be described as heroic, I forged forth to conquer Jeremy, once great tennis competitor.

Sportswriters often use such terms as herculean, mind-boggling and earth-shattering to describe sporting contests, and I will leave them to their well-trained quills to ascribe such terms to my sensational victory. (I would humbly suggest all three, but I digress…) Let it be said that I did not lift my Wii racket for glory and honor. If my victory (whose impact on future generations cannot be calculated) inspires one child (or millions), I will have succeeded in my goal of inspiring humanity. When Israel and Palestine sit side-by-side in negotiations motivated by this win, it will be then that my eternal legacy is complete.

Ultimately, I am forced to leave this game that I love (and have mastered as no human before me) due to injury. As John McEnroe, his brother the other McEnroe guy and other unnamed-due-to-lack-of-familiarity-with-the-sport tennis players have done before me, I will move forth to future success in other venues. My greatest regret will certainly be that I was not able to continue my mastery of Jeremy, once proud tennis protégé, but, alas, this can never be as we will NEVER be able to play again. Oh, injury, why have you plagued me thus!

I affirm and attest to said announcement on this July the sixteenth in the Year of our Lord, 2008.

-Shawn

The Car

After I blogged about the Sunfire, I had a ton of people email or mention to me about their first car. The Sunfire was H's second car, and you really need to ask her about her first one. The first car is such an important part of your life as a teenager. It could be, and probably was, a complete junker but represented the freedom you thought you HAD to have in life.

My first car was a 1978 MG Midget. I cannot express to you in words the smallness of the 78 Midgets. I also cannot express to you in words how tall and lanky I was in HS. (If you think it is bad now, I was 6'3'' and weighed 165 lbs!) The picture above is not the actual car because my mom protects those with her life at her house.

My brother had bought the car for $1,500 when he was in HS. After he got a better ride, it was passed down to me, but I did not have my license. Over the few months remaining, my brother rebuilt the engine/transmission, we completely repainted (7 layers of white and clear coat...nice!), added a new roof and mostly new parts. By age 16, it was the pimpin'est ride in Nederland, TX. For reals, it was awesome....

There are not many small, white '78 MG Midgets in SE Texas which was good and bad. EVERYONE knew who drove it so....doing good stuff, your parents know....doing bad stuff, your parents know.

By the way, it also had a newly-installed Roadmaster tape deck, 80 watt "amp" and two 200 watt 6X9's. There was no better place on earth to drop the convertible top and listen to your tape version of Ice Ice Baby. But, you had to be careful of when/where you rocked because Gay Hanks (Mom) did NOT approve of said music. Sin in the camp!!!!!

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I could not resist. H's first "car" was a well-used Suzuki Samurai. It was fun, fun, fun...

Day 4 - Aaaaahhhhh

(Disclaimer:  This picture is unrelated to this post.  Mia, the artist, took it at TS Grille, and I found it entertaining.  It will be worth millions one day, and some art junky will give it great depth and meaning.  She said "it is a picture of our forks."

Mommy is mommy, Dads.  It does not matter how much cinnamon toast, watermelon and candy you pass out to the troops, you are not Mommy.  And, that is a good thing.

We spent the bulk of the morning lounging by the pool.  By lounging, I mean that EK and I entered and exited the pool no less than one hundred and fifty thousand times.  Hopefully, Guinness Book of World Records was tracking us on Google Maps because I KNOW we set a record.  She loves to go to the pool which is odd because she has no desire to be IN the pool.  EK loves to get into the pool and then promptly loves to get out of the pool.  Daddy loves it less than she does...

After lunch, it was rest time for everyone...yep, even Daddy.  There are unconfirmed reports on the internet that I may have fallen asleep for a period of time.  Again, these are unconfirmed and should not be relied upon.

Mommy arrived home in the middle of the afternoon and life is golden.  She was worn out from four days of training but marshaled the energy to listen to every story from all four kids (me plus three.)

My four days as a single Daddy were awesome.  I tried to approach it with an attitude that this will be a rare opportunity and not that it would be tough.  God was good to me, and we had very few issues or meltdowns.  We had a great four-day vacation with nothing on the agenda other than having fun.  

I get to go to work tomorrow.  I love that place....

PS - 12:01 AM...finished studying...bed calling

Day 3 - Where's Mommy?

When I updated my phone, I forgot to bump the volume back up to full level for the alarm. Uh oh! I had the alarm set for 6 AM....the thunder woke me at 6:53 AM. Ethan ALWAYS wakes up at around 6-6:15 except for today.

Daddy and the kiddos scrambled, and, despite the wake-up issue, we made it to church early! Yes, that's right...early! Our associate pastor spoke again and gave a powerful message. I really like his style of communicating except when it challenges me. :)

TS Grille was great as usual, but Sunday afternoons are always tough. We had a few low points due to lack of naps (for the kids and for me.)

We cooked out with some good friends (the Clarkes.) J is single like me for a few days. The kids LOVE to play together. We hung out from 5-7:30'ish and came straight home for bed.

Our nighttime devotion was about satan tempting Eve in the garden. I learned the hard way that: 1) kids are scared of satan snakes, 2) kids know that snakes do not talk, 3) kids do not like satan snakes.

Time to study....

Day 2 - All quiet on the homefront...

We spent a large part of the morning at the pool. The kids loved seeing the Clarkes at the pool as always. Jonathon should be a single dad as well but was lucky enough to have his parents come in for the weekend. He is basically on vacation. :)

Great quote from Ethan "The Cookies Monster" this afternoon...

Dad: Ok, Ethan. You and Mia can each have two cookies TOTAL.
Ethan: Mia!!! Dad said that we can each have two cookies....uhm, two cookies....Dad said we can each have two cookies OCTOBER.

PS - Tony Snow was a White House spokesman, radio host and conservative leader. More importantly, he was a husband and father to three kids in the 11-15 range. He died early this morning. He was a very strong Christian man.

Day1 - Successful

Day 1....complete. Considering that we did not have Mommy, we had a great day. Mia, the family photographer, captured it well with the iPhone. Ethan plays games and she takes the pictures with it...

TS Grille....we love you.

Blogged by request from the photographer. She actually had me pose it again because my "real" shot did not meet standards.

When you are 1 and your big bro/sister both have Sonic drinks, you hold on to it with a death grip. Sonic drinks are important.

We ate a huge dinner followed by some treats. When we came home, EK went straight to the pantry and took out a bag of potatoes. Seriously, a bag of potatoes.

I have begun to suspect that our children have an eating illnes that Heather has kept from me for my own protection. I am going to start delivering pizzas to keep up with their food intake.

-Shawn

Lessons learned in 4 hours

I have learned a few things this morning....

1) Apple's servers ALL crashed and my glorious iPhone update (promised to deliver wonderful new 3rd party app goodness) have created a overly expensive paper weight. I hope this changes soon...

2) Our children, and presumably others, can eat non-stop forever. Ethan finished a snack, stood up and said, "Dad, when are we eating lunch?" I need to talk to DW about paying me in chicken nuggets and goldfish.

3) Many people love their first car. More on that to come...

4) Mommies need a raise.

I am Mr. Mom (and not Iron Man)

One of H's pet peeves is when Dad's say, "I am babysitting my kids." Her thoughts, "they are YOUR kids. You cannot babysit YOUR kids."

Instead of babysitting my own kids, I am providing my three children with love, nurture, Dobson-quality discipline and, currently, a song about boogers/dancing.

Mommy is gone on a church retreat (youth camp for grown ups) for four days. I am NOT babysitting my kids. I am Mr. Mom and Daddy. We will have a blast and probably make up a few more songs about boogers/dancing. We will also eat more candy, treats and ice cream this weekend than they have cumulatively eaten in their short, cute lives.

Status:
Mia - packing for her sleepover that is 7 days away
Ethan - sitting in a laundry basket stating he doesn't want a Daddy (His current Daddy will not let him have pancakes since he ate breakfast two hours ago.)
EK - Sitting in a second laundry basket torturing Ethan. :)

A tribute to the Sunfire....

A friend of mine, DG, once asked me to write some "funny rants" (his words, not mine) for his political/commentary website. It was during the heat of the presidential race so to provide something on the lighter side, he said "be funny but not too funny." Uhm, I succeeded at one of those two requests. You decide...

At the time, it was just for kicks. Now, its message is more timely than ever.... (tears stream down my face)

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Me and the Duke Boys: In A “Heap” of Trouble

I have been known to exaggerate for effect, but I never thought I would say what I am about to type. This single statement could get me excommunicated from most Southern Baptist churches. Blasphemy? No. Heresy? Probably. True? Sadly, yes. And what is this bold statement that will set the world on its end? “The General Lee is not that great of a car.”

Back in your chair? Breathing normally again? Good!

Listen, I make this assertion with some caveats. Yes, the orange paint job, 01 race number and Confederate flag do tip the scales to cool, but underneath those “givens,” you don’t have that cool of a ride. Seriously, my Granny drove a similar car. (Ok, hers was a ‘71 and white but she was 74 years old!) To all of the kids, writer included, that dreamed of one day owning an orange, ’69 Charger with no windows…how many now drive one? Point made!

At this juncture, you are probably asking yourself, “Why would someone dislike the General Lee? What other car has done so much for civilization?” (Kit, from Knight Rider, was no slouch but that is for another day.) “What would cause a ‘fan’ for so many years to turn on the beloved Lee?” Answer, bitterness.

I drive a 1996 Pontiac Sunfire. Diablo, as many have called her, is equipped with balding tires, shaky steering, failed tape deck and, most importantly, no air conditioning. (In fairness to Pontiac, the car is technically equipped with air conditioning; however, the air is conditioned to molten hot lava temperatures before melting the linen pants from my hairless calf.) She is Airwolf-black and takes no prisoners on my small stretch of I-65.

From personal experience, age 31 is the time that it behooves a man to take practical stock of his automotive needs. What can the Lee provide me that Diablo cannot?

Gas Mileage: Lee (16-18 mpg dirt road) vs. Diablo (26-28 mpg highway) – Winner, Diablo!
Safety: I have an airbag. They have a roll cage. – Winner, Lee!
Accessories: Both cars adhere to a minimalist mentality. Both my stereo and the Lee’s CB cannot be depended upon in times of trouble, but I have a cell phone and my windows DO roll-up. Winner – Diablo!

Ultimately, today’s cars can match the Lee tit-for-tat in almost every area. The GL frequently jumps dry gorges, you say? My car jumps to many things (conclusions) during the course of the day. The General provides a steady ride for firing flaming arrows from your cross bow? My car can handle THREE car seats. The General Lee was once a stock racing car and can accomplish a tire change in 36 seconds? Well, my car….my car….my car SUCKS.

The thought of stirring up dust and leaves as I fly slow-motion over a dirt jump does sound appealing, but who has time these days? You give the Duke boys two kids, a mortgage and a full day-planner and just see how many robberies they are able to foil! In the meantime, anybody have a can of orange spray paint?

-Shawn, 2004

We sold a family member...

Yep, we sold a member of our family at 10:45 PM last night. In Heather's junior year of college (my 2nd junior year,) her parents gave her a brand new 1996 Pontiac Sunfire. It was a cool ride for a cool chick. The car served us very well for 12 years.

It was my daily commuter from 2000-2006 racking up the mileage to 126,000. (Yes, for those of you in the know the last 3 years were w/out air conditioning. I am just that frugal --- cheap.) When we bought our smokin' cool 2004 Nissan Quest in Oct of 2006, the Sunfire was relegated to garage status. Shawn, professional model, stepped up into the big-boy world of the Camry and the accompanying air conditioning.

If you have ever read the subtitle to this blog you know that we have a lot of stuff going down each week....marriage, kids, church, school, work, etc. That is also a great list of excuses why I never sold the Sunfire....until last night!

She will be missed. Her peeled black paint, her 2-55 air conditioning (My Granny always said she had a 2-55....2 windows down driving 55 mph), the incessant mocking from friends/co-workers, her nicknames of POS and Diablo and, most of all, her wonderful gas mileage. Ultimately, it was her wonderful mileage that attracted her new, proud owners and will keep them driving her for many years to come.

So long, Sunfire. From college make-out sessions FELLOWSHIP TIME to breakfast-in-the-car highway miles, you will be missed... (but not much.)

Hey, Shawn...what did you get on your Remedies exam?

Thanks for asking....I got a 90 and am thrilled! (It was very kind and gracious for you to ask....you are a nice person. Go buy yourself a Ben and Jerry's pint.)

BREAKING NEWS: Shawn is not a professional model

We had a pro come in from NYC to do our staff pictures. Primarily, I think he came in to make me not look like a doofus. While he was terrific in many ways, he failed at that job.

Please notice my deep, penetrating stare. It is intended to command respect for my boundless intellect, and, no doubt, is very successful.

The pix are provided below with what I believe will be your inner dialogue.

"Hello, big fella. You are a happy one, aren't you?"

"Things are still funny, huh? I sure do respect your ability to be serious and simultaneously filled with glee."

"Wow, you got serious, but I feel an overwhelming sense of confidence in your glare. Can I give you money and/or entrust you with many of my valuables?"

"Shawn, you put on a tie. I was not sure that I could respect you more than I already do, but, frankly, I was 100% wrong. The tie and tilted picture are awe-inspiring. But, be careful to not fall over."

"Hey, is that a big office? I guessed you would work in one with wooden doors but was not sure."

Don't drive under street signs....

That is my exit for work.... :)

Fourth of the July'ness

Pool, Mario Kart, sleep, movies, Wall-E....

All of these things were used by the Hanks family to celebrate our nation's independence.

I rented Mario Kart (because I cannot find it in any store!) on Thursday night. Ethan has quickly become obsessed. We had a blast playing WAY too much this weekend. Of course, it makes Heather and Mia car sick so Ethan and Daddy made up their Wii time by over-playing. It is going to break his heart when I have to return it tomorrow, but, at $8 per rental, it has to go home.

The new Spring Hill Rec Center has an amazing pool. I am the last person to know, but that pool is a kid wonderland. It must have been designed by a team of kids! I love the beach entrance because EK's favorite thing to do at the pool it to get in and out. Coincidentally, this is Mommy and Daddy's least favorite thing to do. I sat about two feet into the water, and she walked in / out for an hour. Amazing!

The Spring Hill fireworks show was a good one. Because of traffic, we parked in the highest parking lot near Campbell Station to watch the show. The fireworks exploded while I played epic 4th music we found on the radio. Epic, I tell you...

The part-time pastor who spoke yesterday was great. Heather has some great info and links here. His largest point was that you cannot work your way to heaven or into a relationship with Jesus. I think he wrote that message specifically for me. He is a "performance person" like him. It made me chuckle the way he described himself because it sounded very familiar. It was a powerful message.

We had a great lunch with the Clarke's after church. Because Pung Fu Panda (Ethan translation) was sold out, I took the two older kiddos to see Wall-E. It is a great move. Check it out....

Surprisingly, I was able to stay on my usual study schedule despite the holiday.

I love my family...

I am so glad there are little shoes lying around my house. :) There
are little feet sleeping soundly nearby....

Sent from my iPhone

The Birds and Bee Sides

Relient k's newest record came out recently, and I downloaded it last night. It is typical Relient k which is great for me. You can always count on them to have some great built in jokes and thoughts. (One day, I WILL catch them at Spring Hill Starbucks and buy them a cup of coffee just for the conversation.) if they actually write their own stuff, they are smart and funny. If not, they employee a writer who is smart and funny.

It is one of those "we didn't really make a full new record" deals. It has 26 songs with some acoustic redo's, demo's, etc but is WAY worth the $10 from iTunes.

Two great Relient k lines...

"I don't wanna have to say it....I just want you to know I'm right."

"Opinions are immunity from being told you're wrong."

WAY- FM alternates between Relient k and Jars of Clay's "Flood" most of the day. They will dig the redo of Who I Am, etc. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Old school tunes and friends....

Listening to Third Day's debut cd from the mid 90's reminds me of two
people that are on my short list of favorite people walking the
earth: Shannon Martin and Mike McCarthy. (Yes, Conan O'Brien is also
on that list.)

I live 800 miles from both but love those guys....(and Conan too.)

Sent from my iPhone